What Your Sleep Position Says About Your Relationship

What Your Sleep Position Says About Your Relationship

Last update: 06 August, 2015

Body language can tell us a lot about how a person is feeling. When you sleep the position your body naturally takes can give you information about your feelings towards your partner at that time. After fighting, you might turn your back, whereas after a particularly loving day you may sleep more closely together, with limbs intertwined.   

Psychologists say that the sleep position couples use can tell us a lot about the emotional side of a relationship and how the partners are feeling at that moment. Body positions change throughout the night but it is surprising how often a couple will return to their favourite position, giving insight into the emotional bond and mental and physical connection in the relationship. Read on to find out what your sleep position says about you and your partner.

Back to back, but touching


Couples that sleep with their backs to each other while still touching tend to have great respect for each other’s personal space. This position says they want to have their own space but still enjoy being close. These people are lively and independent but have a healthy and stable relationship. This sleeping position displays confidence in the partnership as each person is not desperate to maintain physical closeness at all times.

Back to back and separated


Sleeping back to back but keeping totally separate shows some level of antagonism in the relationship. This couple are independent but there may be too much distance in the partnership as both feel it is necessary to remain separate for their freedom. This position indicates that both parties want independence and may feel suffocated if they become too close. If one or both partner’s body is tense, this can indicate that communication channels are closed off. A more loose posture suggests a more relaxed attitude and respect for personal space.

Face to face, without touching


If you sleep face to face with your partner this shows a desire for intimacy, while the absence of touch means you have respect for each other’s personal space. This sleeping position suggests that there is a great deal of harmony in the relationship and that the couple deals with problems well using good communication.



If a couple sleeps completely intertwined with limbs together and touching, this indicates a strong passionate bond. Often this is a position adopted at the start of a relationship when physical intimacy is a high priority. Although the intertwined position often shows strong sexual desire it can also indicate problems with jealousy and possessiveness of one partner over the other.



Spooning is an intimate position which has a safe and comfortable feel. The person who hugs from behind is the protective partner and the other is the one who is nurtured and guided. This position generally displays a harmonious feeling between the partners, however, it can sometimes indicate insecurity.



Body language specialists say that hugging while sleeping shows a good level of affection in a relationship. In general, the hugging sleeping position means all is well in the relationship. If one partner rests their head on the shoulder of the other, this indicates security and harmony.

Spacious and reduced


This sleeping position is where one partner takes up a lot of the space in the bed, while the other has to fit into a much smaller area. This sleeping position is not indicative of a healthy relationship as it shows lack of respect and affection for the reduced space sleeper. The person talking up less space may suffer from self-esteem issues and the partner talking up more space may dominate, while also feeling the relationship is going well.

Each in their own space but with legs intertwined


The legs intertwined sleeping position with body separation is a sign that the partners need to take care and give their relationship more attention. The touching legs indicates passion and commitment to each other but the separate bodies shows independence which could spell emotional distance in the relationship.

Although psychologists and communications experts suggest that sleep positions can indicate a state of harmony or discord in a relationship, there are many other explanations for separate sleeping or back to back sleeping. Some people find one side more comfortable than the other, while others might like to face a window; some people may find it impossible to sleep touching another person. Whatever you sleep position, good communication is often the vital key that will bring you closer to an intertwined heart, if not intertwined limbs!